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    Episode 26: Election, Free Will, and Flowers

    God Is Calling YOU to Rest (Part 2)

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Should we still listen to Hillsong?

    Easter Origin: Bunnies & Eggs?

    Before Christ Rose

    Our Misconception of the Body

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Can Christians go to multiple churches?

    The Relationship Between Frugalism and Stewardship

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Rejoice (Part 3)

    Rejoice (Part 2)

    Rejoice (Part 1)

    Broken at the Cross (Part 5)

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    Keep It Short and Sweet

    How I Have Learned to Hope

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    The Addiction You Didn’t Know You Had (Part 1)

    LET THERE BE LOVE — on Christian Veganism (Part 1)

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    Episode 25: What’s up with the education system?

    Our Misconception of the Body

    The Relationship Between Frugalism and Stewardship

    Home

    Episode 23: Why I changed my career

    What Consumes Us (Part 2)

    What Consumes Us (Part 1)

    Jesus and Minimalism

    Glimpses of Glory

    How I Surrendered Control in My Work

    You Were(nt) Made for This Life

    Talking with Family Members About Mental Health (Part 3)

    Talking with Family Members About Mental Health (Part 2)

    Talking with Family Members About Mental Health (Part 1)

    As You Are (Part 2)

    You Are Enough

    As You Are (Part 1)

    What God Says About Me

    How Do We Submit in a World That Doesn’t

  • RELATIONSHIPS
    • All
    • Church
    • Dating
    • Family
    • Marriage
    • Singleness

    The Addiction You Didn’t Know You Had (Part 1)

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Can a Christian date a non-Christian, then convert him/her?

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Should we still listen to Hillsong?

    Home

    Episode 25: What’s up with the education system?

    Get Used to Different (Part 2)

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Is cohabitation a sin?

    Before Saying “I Will”

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Need for Companionship

    Local Man Discovers Gift of Singleness, Calls Off Marriage*

    Get Used to Different (Part 1)

    Talking with Family Members About Mental Health (Part 3)

    Talking with Family Members About Mental Health (Part 2)

    Talking with Family Members About Mental Health (Part 1)

    Three Pitfalls of Accountability

    How My Heavenly Father Restored My Relationship with My Earthly Mother

    When the Church Adopts You, You Adopt the Church

    How to Embody Love to Your LGBTQIA+ Friends

    How to Embody Love to Your LGBTQIA+ Friends

    Home

    Episode 19: Christmas Special – Recovering the meaning of the season

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    Episode 18: Does my family background really affect me? // How do we blaspheme the Spirit?

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    • Social issues

    Ethical Consumerism

    Easter Origin: Bunnies & Eggs?

    Get Used to Different (Part 2)

    Home

    Episode 24: All about Crypto, NFTs, and the Church

    What Consumes Us (Part 2)

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Should Christians go to war?

    Home

    Episode 22: Enneagram Part Two

    What Consumes Us (Part 1)

    Jesus and Minimalism

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    Episode 21: Enneagram Part One

    Get Used to Different (Part 1)

    Christian Cancel Culture: A Gospel for the Oppressors

    Christian Cancel Culture: A Gospel for the Oppressors

    Your Calling to Bring Shalom into a Deprived World

    Your Calling to Bring Shalom into a Deprived World

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    Home

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    Local Man Discovers Gift of Singleness, Calls Off Marriage*

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    In The Whisper, pt2

    How Do I Get Inspired?

    Rejoice (Part 3)

    Rejoice (Part 2)

    Rejoice (Part 1)

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    Celebrating Creativity

    Baptism Numbers Skyrocket After Installation of Waterslide in Local Church*

    What God Says About Me

    In The Whisper

    Reppin’ Jesus on Social Media – How to Stay True in a World of Haters

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How I Surrendered Control in My Work

Cameron Riley by Cameron Riley
May 20, 2022
in Mental Health, Work
0

Last September, I started a new job as an English teacher in a local secondary school. I had zero training and teaching experience, so I felt out of my depth with all three of my classes. My heart rate would skyrocket whenever I was on my way to class and I would feel the happiest when the bell rang at the end of the day. After school, I would work on designing my own teaching materials, activities and worksheets, just to go through the process again the next day. It was difficult to make time for rest, and if I did allow myself that time, I would feel guilty that I wasn’t working.

A month into the semester, I started to notice a pattern – I would spend the first part of the weekend working on materials for the next week, but on Sunday evenings, I would feel unsure about what I had planned to teach. I found myself scrambling last minute to undo my previous work and to come up with alternative lesson plans. Sunday evenings were always when I felt the most dread and nervous anticipation for yet another school week.

One Sunday morning, I woke up finally feeling calmer and more rested, which was a big contrast to how I usually felt. I was getting ready for church when I felt an intense wave of sudden anxiety. What if my classes tomorrow don’t go well? What if my students aren’t responsive?

At the time, I was holding on to a lot of fear and insecurity about how little experience I had with teaching. I had been praying to God about it but I was still struggling a lot. My friends kept telling me to “give yourself some grace” but I found it difficult to put into practice. I also noticed that my daily mood was very much tied to how my students behaved in class. If they were receptive and engaged, I would leave class feeling proud and upbeat. If they were apathetic (or worse, falling asleep), I would feel upset afterwards.

One of my friends was also wrestling with work-related stress, and discussing it with her helped me process some of my own thoughts. “Maybe we’re so anxious all the time because we’re trying to control what happens at work for ourselves,” she said. I thought about it and realized that I had been trying to control every aspect of my teaching. My constant planning (and re-planning) and my emotional responses to my classes were actually consequences of whenever I felt out of control. I was trying so hard to manage how my lessons would go, and if my students did not respond to me in the way I most wanted them to, I would feel inadequate and agitated.

 

[I] realized that I had been trying to control every aspect of my teaching. My constant planning (and re-planning) and my emotional responses to my classes were actually consequences of whenever I felt out of control.

 

I still do my best to prepare for each of my lessons and to come up with creative ways to teach my students what they need to know, but the mentality I have towards my lesson planning has changed drastically. Now, I know better which areas I need to surrender to God. When my familiar feelings of anxiousness crop up, I remind myself that I cannot control each and every one of my students’ emotions or how they behave in class. I can, however, control how I respond to it. I have the freedom to not be as affected whenever I feel like my lessons do not go the way I envisioned them to. Instead, I’m encouraged to keep striving for new ways to connect and relate to my students.

 

When my familiar feelings of anxiousness crop up, I remind myself that I cannot control each and every one of my students’ emotions or how they behave in class. I can, however, control how I respond to it.

 

Now, when I walk to class, I remember Joshua 1.9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Though teaching can be scary, I take comfort in knowing that He opened up this very opportunity for me, and that He is with me through each of my mistakes or difficult days.

 

Though teaching can be scary, I take comfort in knowing that He opened up this very opportunity for me, and that He is with me through each of my mistakes or difficult days.

 

It makes my day now whenever I see my students have an “aha!” moment, or when they look for answers themselves, instead of simply asking me for it. As we continue the rest of this school year, I’m looking forward to seeing how my students will grow and shape each other. I’m also really excited to get to know them even better, and to challenge myself to come up with more interactive and interesting lessons for them.

Cameron Riley

Cameron Riley

Loves storytelling, eating desserts, and living in big cities. // Favorite book: Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott

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