Everyone knows that the Bible advises against dating non-believers, but what if it is done with intention, as a form of outreach? Sometimes known as “missionary dating”, here are five tried-and-tested* tips on how to successfully “flirt to convert”!
1. Identify your target and make sure she is not a Christian. Afterall, you don’t want to waste time by sowing where others have already sown. For the more experienced, multiple targets can be engaged at the same time – the potential reward is greater, but the chances of failure are also higher. As such, multiple engagements are not recommended unless the target is literally on the brink of hell.
2. Just as the armour of God protects us from spiritual attacks, wearing a Christian-themed outfit will protect you from feeling sad and down in the event of rejection as a result of your efforts. This is the frontline of spiritual warfare, so make sure you gear up with an “Ask me about Jesus” t-shirt, a cross necklace, socks with the Jesus fish logo, and a pair of 100% lamb leather sandals. Accessorise with a leather-bound KJV Bible to complete your look.
3. In any situation, it’s important to make a good first impression, so a strong opening line is key. If in doubt, stick to the classics, such as “So last night I was reading the book of Numbers, and I realised I don’t have yours”, or “Is it hot in here or is that just the Holy Spirit burning inside of you?”. In cases where the target is more resilient, you may have to up your game with “Hey girl, you really are a fisher of men; and baby, you just reeled me in”, or “I know you’ve already said no once, but call me Joshua because I’m going to break down your walls”.
4. Conversion is only possible by adhering to the official “Terms of Engagement”, which details the method by which the target will be converted once you are in a relationship with her. The overarching principle is to show her how important God is to you and how unimportant she is in comparison. Your unwavering devotion to God at her expense will ultimately be the thing that moves her heart.
5. Once conversion has taken place, end the relationship by declaring that God has called you to a season of singleness in order to devote your time fully to God. Once this season is over (the official recommended time is three days), you will be re-energised to date for Jesus again!
*Conversion rate: 0%
Practitioners of this method who have left the faith: 100%
(Based on data since Adam first said “Hey girl, I believe one of my ribs belongs to you”)
**This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons is entirely coincidental. No couples nor singles are harmed in the making of this article.
So what is it really like to be dating a non-Christian? Watch this: