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    Don’t Let Fear Take the Steering Wheel

    The Case for Shared Leadership (Part 5)

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    The Case for Shared Leadership (Part 3)

    The Case for Shared Leadership (Part 2)

    The Case for Shared Leadership (Part 1)

    More of Him, Less of Me

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    3 Important Things You Should Know About Discipleship

    Discipleship Lessons from Star Wars

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    Episode 26: Election, Free Will, and Flowers

    God Is Calling YOU to Rest (Part 2)

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Should we still listen to Hillsong?

    Easter Origin: Bunnies & Eggs?

    Before Christ Rose

    Our Misconception of the Body

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Can Christians go to multiple churches?

    The Relationship Between Frugalism and Stewardship

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Rejoice (Part 3)

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    Home Is Where Your Heart Is

    Interview: Transformation from Pole Dancing

    The Power of Names

    In a Difficult Season in My Life, I Joined the Production Team

    Wisdom from a Baby

    LET THERE BE LOVE — on Christian Veganism (Part 5)

    There’s Nothing Wrong With You

    LET THERE BE LOVE — on Christian Veganism (Part 4)

    LET THERE BE LOVE — on Christian Veganism (Part 3)

    LET THERE BE LOVE — on Christian Veganism (Part 2)

    The Addiction You Didn’t Know You Had (Part 2)

    The Addiction You Didn’t Know You Had (Part 1)

    LET THERE BE LOVE — on Christian Veganism (Part 1)

    Home

    Episode 25: What’s up with the education system?

    Our Misconception of the Body

    The Relationship Between Frugalism and Stewardship

    Home

    Episode 23: Why I changed my career

    What Consumes Us (Part 2)

    What Consumes Us (Part 1)

    Jesus and Minimalism

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    Home Is Where Your Heart Is

    In a Difficult Season in My Life, I Joined the Production Team

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    Dating for Jesus**

    A Short Letter to the Tired Single

    3 Important Things You Should Know About Discipleship

    Home

    Episode 27: How do you find the right person? Questions on singleness, boundaries and friend zones

    The Addiction You Didn’t Know You Had (Part 2)

    The Addiction You Didn’t Know You Had (Part 1)

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Can a Christian date a non-Christian, then convert him/her?

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Should we still listen to Hillsong?

    Home

    Episode 25: What’s up with the education system?

    Get Used to Different (Part 2)

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Is cohabitation a sin?

    Before Saying “I Will”

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Need for Companionship

    Local Man Discovers Gift of Singleness, Calls Off Marriage*

    Get Used to Different (Part 1)

    Talking with Family Members About Mental Health (Part 3)

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    Our Christmas Collection

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    Discipleship Lessons from Star Wars

    Ethical Consumerism

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    Get Used to Different (Part 2)

    Home

    Episode 24: All about Crypto, NFTs, and the Church

    What Consumes Us (Part 2)

    Is metaverse or VR church a real church?

    Should Christians go to war?

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    What Consumes Us (Part 1)

    Jesus and Minimalism

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    Get Used to Different (Part 1)

    Christian Cancel Culture: A Gospel for the Oppressors

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    Your Calling to Bring Shalom into a Deprived World

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How Do We Submit in a World That Doesn’t

Sasha Lo by Sasha Lo
2021/06/21
in Everyday Living
0

Even though the words ‘submit’ and ‘obey’ may leave a bitter taste in our mouths, we actually practice them everyday in our ordinary lives. The most common environments in which we encounter or experience submission are in the workplace, within the family and in relationship with our significant partners. 

This post looks at the general principles that can be applied to those relationships. The reason why ‘submit’ and ‘obey’ sometimes gets a bad rap is because they are abused by those in power to oppress or control others. Biblical submission teaches submission that is mutual – both parties placing the needs of the other before their own to create an environment where everyone is supported and flourishing. However, is this possible in today’s society? How are we supposed to ‘submit to one another’ (Eph. 5.21) when we live in a world that doesn’t hold the same values? 

 

1. Root your security in God. What does He really think of you?

Being secure in our identity in Christ and grounding ourselves in our faith helps us to navigate our lives with focus. Deriving our sense of worth, identity and security frees us from the lies that society has led us to believe. Reminding ourselves that we are completely accepted (Tit. 3.3-7), unconditionally loved (Isa. 54.10), totally forgiven (Rom. 8.1) and valued for who we are (1 Cor. 7.23) in God’s eyes far surpasses the validation we can get from man, because we are seen, known and infinitely treasured by the One who created us (Ps. 139.1-5,13-16). He also sees our family, friends and colleagues the same way, which encourages us to extend the same respect to them.

 

2. Investigate your feelings: they are guides, not directives

Are you frustrated at a co-worker for their carelessness? Is your boss not listening to you, and you were made to feel small? What is your default first move, and is that appropriate? Our ability to feel is created by God and is good, however, not all feelings are based in fact. Feelings turn sinful when we allow our thoughts to dwell on strong emotions that lead to sin and must be reconciled (Matt. 5.21-26). We can’t help the way we feel, but we can choose how we react to it. 

 

3. Be mindful of your feedback: is it nourishing?

Investigating our feelings and their origins will also help us in how we communicate our feedback to others. Feedback that is not nourishing to another person is simply critique. Are you passing judgment on someone else’s character based on a choice they’ve made? What is the intention of your interaction with them?

 

4. Create a non-threatening environment

Think about a time when you’ve received feedback that made you feel awful. How did the other person approach you? Did they try to blame you for something that went wrong or make you feel like you were a harmful presence in your team? What was your response? When we feel threatened, our first instinct is to be defensive and deny the accusations against us even if they might hold some truth. This defensive mechanism shields us from words that may diminish our sense of worth, identity and security. Denial also shields us from being receptive to any constructive criticism. It sparks negative feelings towards one another (why are they attacking me?), causing further tension between both parties. If the same feedback was given in a non-threatening environment, our instinct to play defense takes more of a back seat and growth via feedback is positively reinforced. This might look like reiterating a person’s value, or emphasizing that feedback is lovingly given out of a desire for them to succeed. Facilitating a healthier environment and biblical view of submission.

 

5. Be able to admit that you were wrong

Admission of pride is a mark of true humility, which goes hand in hand with submission. “We are to clothe ourselves with humility as God exalts the humble.” (1 Pet. 5.5). This means accepting correction and honoring others’ opinions, not placing our own above theirs (Rom. 12.3). 

 

Special thanks to Martin Radford for his contributions to this post.

___

References:

What God Thinks About You – John Reinhart (Desiringgod.com)

What Does God Think About You? – Pastor Rick Warren (Pastorrick.com)

2 Corinthians 10:5

I Stopped Avoiding Negative Emotions – Zeng Jiaming (ymi.today)

Feelings Are Not Facts – Starla Hill (coffeewithstarla.com)

Proverbs 13:10

4 Things Everyone Should Know About Humility – Nellie Owens (activechristianity.org)

Sasha Lo

Sasha Lo

Final year student midwife at the University of Leeds. Loves the water and believes that therapy is the greatest act of self care. // Favorite author: Jeff Bethke

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