It took a party recently to realize I wasn’t crazy.
It was an impromptu dinner party after work that my parents whisked me away to – and as I found out on the way over – a rooftop barbecue at the place of one of my parents’ oldest friends in the city. The couple, a Spanish husband and Indonesian wife, have been dear friends to my own Filipino family – and it was a bittersweet evening as it was their farewell party after coming to the city the same time we did a decade ago.
It was at this party where good music I knew was playing, where everyone was relaxed and having a good time and everyone was a natural host to each other, where even the accents and mix of languages spoken and how people lit up when speaking were familiar and comforting. There was good food so abundantly spread out in a feast fit for a celebration and drinks being poured by strangers like they were old friends. It was warm and spontaneous and chaotic, yet unhurried and relishing and basking all at once. In a way, a lot like how I’d imagine my own heaven.
And at the end of the night when it came time to say our goodbyes, it was not a nod and a polite wave as I’ve gotten used to in this city, but a squaring up of sorts to address one another. In the conversation between our families, we spoke about how we wondered when and where would be the next time we would see each other. At that, our host Miguel told us to visit them soonest in Madrid to where they would be returning. To that we warmly made rejoinders that we should also meet soon in Bali, Palawan, and even in Hong Kong.
As ever the most gracious host, Miguel said, “what a privilege it is and I hope that we recognize in this moment that we can look forward to seeing one another almost anywhere in the world. What is that? How many people get to say that?”
“what a privilege it is and I hope that we recognize in this moment that we can look forward to seeing one another almost anywhere in the world. What is that? How many people get to say that?”
My father attempted an answer of “expats”.
To that Miguel said, “No, no. Friends”.
I had to look away just then to stop from crying at the sincerity of the moment. This was a direct, explicit appreciation of one another. And to wrap it all up, everyone exchanged deeply held long hugs and kisses, and parted as I fought to hold back tears.
God used that party to affirm something in me – that I wasn’t crazy with how I myself expressed and received love. How being situated for a brief hour or two in cultures and settings that fed into my own soul and emotional reserves was able to show me something. That my longtime and ongoing struggle of expressing love in a city and feeling love back in return was not something that meant that I was crazy or wrong, but rather was the contextual uphill battle of living in a melting pot of different cultures of which the majority are not my own.
That my longtime and ongoing struggle of expressing love in a city and feeling love back in return was not something that meant that I was crazy or wrong, but rather was the contextual uphill battle of living in a melting pot of different cultures of which the majority are not my own.
That my need for physical touch and sincere, freely given words were something that different places in the world actually relished as much as I did – and indeed needed. That there were people even more sincere and warm with their words, people more hopelessly romantic and sweet by nature – this realization was a balm to my heart.
Our Home Is Not Here.
I say all this because to you my brothers and sisters, I know you too have been hurting over the differences that grind you away in your current setting and context. You yourself have ways in which life just isn’t kind and you can’t figure out why it seems that way. You might not have the same exact struggles that I do, but I know that we all are hurt one way or another by where our needs are not met by the world around us. How all of us face rejections that cut into deeper parts of us.
I know that we all are hurt one way or another by where our needs are not met by the world around us. How all of us face rejections that cut into deeper parts of us.
With so much hurt and disappointment that we face in the world around us though, I think it points to a deeper truth here about our condition of this life we are currently in.
“If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” (John 15:19, ESV)
This life was always meant to be one lived with Him, but with our fall due to sin and the brokenness around us, we live in a world with Him but it is also one that is fallen. That means that this life was never meant to be it – and deep disappointments and hurts and rejections will only ever be constant this side of Heaven.
Thankfully, we have a hope above all of this.
“For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come.” (Hebrews 13:14, ESV)
As we struggle in our home city of Hong Kong as well as our places and spaces all over the world, we will find ourselves yearning for that one place where we will finally feel at rest. Where we will finally feel that full peace. Where we will finally have our needs met and our lives by design will be just perfect in Him.
As we struggle in our home city of Hong Kong as well as our places and spaces all over the world, we will find ourselves yearning for that one place where we will finally feel at rest.
We already have assurance of that, and that’s to come – promised to us up in Heaven. This I hope, can galvanize us to live our lives freely and openly and lovingly as mere pilgrims here this side of Heaven, this first life before the real one to come. We have full assurance that He will wipe away every tear as found in Revelation 21, as we come home to the life and home He truly has for us where we get to be deeply and fully known whilst so sweetly and fully loved.
We have full assurance that He will wipe away every tear as found in Revelation 21, as we come home to the life and home He truly has for us where we get to be deeply and fully known whilst so sweetly and fully loved.