Jesus says in the Bible that Christians will be “hated by all for my name’s sake”. In the age of social media, how do we as Christians navigate the tricky waters of online trolls and keyboard warriors? Follow these simple principles below and you’ll be making disciples online in no time!
- Follow at least five Christian-related meme pages on Instagram – as a devoted Christ-follower, it’s very important to be fed with Biblical truth, so make sure that the first thing you see on your feed every day is a top-drawer Christian meme.
- Whatever you post, use the hashtag “#blessed” so others know that you are giving glory to God when you are flexing your private jet, designer shoes, and your sixth holiday this month.
- Always share whatever is posted if it comes with a promise of “a prayer for every share” – we can never pray enough, right? If sharing a dodgy article without first reading it or doing any fact-checking will support a fellow believer’s prayer life, then share away!
- Set your relationship status to “In a relationship with Jesus” – everybody knows that Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship. If bae can’t handle that, they better move along!
- After you complete your daily devotional, remember to post a picture of your Bible, placed tastefully on your desk, next to a cup of freshly-brewed coffee, along with an encouraging caption. I mean, if you don’t post your devotional online, did you even do it?
- Always engage in long, drawn-out, theological debates online – after all, the Bible tells us to “always be prepared to give an answer”. Plus, why else would there be a “Comments” section?
- When responding to the unfortunate news of others, make sure you respond with a vague, non-committal promise that you’ll pray for them. Don’t forget to follow that with at least seven “prayer hands” emojis so that they know you really care.
- If you manage to achieve a sick pump at the gym and the lighting happens to be just right, then post that mirror selfie! What better testimony is there than to show the world that you’re taking care of the temple of the Holy Spirit?
- In the “Looking for” section of your online-dating profile, always include “Man of God” or “Proverbs 31 Woman” to repel any wolves in sheep’s clothing out there. Trust that God will miraculously convert anyone you meet as you keep swiping right.
- When looking for a church, always check if it is active on social media. It’s 2021, if it’s not even on Facebook (at the very least), is it even a real church?